Is this it?

So this is it?
Is this my life?

Is this my job, my routine?
Is this the office I work in every day?
Are these my coworkers?
OK, well... hello, there.
Is this my chair, my desk, my cup?
Is this what my morning coffee
was supposed to taste like?
All burned up and cheap.
What ever happened to the big window
and the great view?

So, this is what I do everyday, isn't it?

Is that me driving that car?
Is that all my music?
Are those my movies, my books,
my clothes... my pictures?
Is that my couch?

Is this home?
'Cause this is where I live, isn't it?
Did I steal those signs?
Is this my bedroom? it's small.
Got myself a fish,
didn't think I ever would.

Are those my friends from "all over"?
Is this my savings account... really?!
So you don't got a boyfriend
and you didn't get your master's degree either.

That's me living alone, right?
One bedroom apartment,
cleaning it myself,
cooking for one.
Didn't think I would do that either -
the cooking part.

So this is me, being all grown up
and walking around in shoes I paid for.
With my beautiful computer
wearing a nice jacket and a scarf and
being able to do whatever the f*ck I want
... pretty much all the time.

Dreaming and waiting.
Smoking and reading.
Drinking and crying.
Studying and laughing and planning
(still! unbelievable).
Haven't I learned anything?

So this is how I turned out to be.
This is me nowadays.

I'm not entirely disappointed.
I know exactly how I got here.
I've worked hard. I know that.
And I guess I wouldn't trade it,
maybe.

I just thought it would be
different, bigger, richer,
(more... exciting?)
probably better, actually.
I'm still waiting for real life to happen,
you know?

But deep down
I know this is it:
this is real life,
this is my real life.

...

Are those my dreams? Come on!
What the hell happened to them?!
Damn it!